week 5 A Very Risky Advertisement

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week 5 A Very Risky Advertisement

Post by Risky Biznu on Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:34 am

A loud, piercing, childish yell fills the arena, jolting audience members from their seats.

Video begins playing on the titantron, showing a resigned parent pushing a cart filled with countless toys and dragging a screaming, resisting child through an aisle lined with even more toys.

The child breaks free from his mother’s grasp, rushing off only to immediately smash his small body into a shelf.

The shelf rattles, all its contents sent falling onto the floor, various items shattering into tiny pieces upon meeting the hard tile.

A man wearing a polo and nametag walks up to the mother, hand extended.

The mother sighs, reaching into her wallet and handing over numerous bills to the manager, this obviously not being the first occurrence of this particular scenario.


Voiceover: Is your child costing you money?

The mother looks directly into the camera, resignedly nodding.

Voiceover: Well, head on over to the board game aisle and pick up your very own copy of Biznopoly! It’s guaranteed to turn your money-leeching hellspawn into a certified businessman! Not only will they stop bleeding your bank account dry, they’ll start inflating those numbers to amounts you’ve only seen in daydreams where you never had kids!

The woman immediately scoops her fallen child up into her arms and races through the store, forgoing her cart.

She stops in an aisle filled to the brim with board games and cobwebs. The aisle obviously hasn’t seen any foot traffic in years, its lights dull and flickering.

Among the dust and grime lies a single spot along the shelves that is bright and clean, a spotlight illuminating its contents.

Showcased as if it were the holiest of grails lies Biznopoly, its features sparkling in the light.

(Biznopoly Graphic)

The woman gently lowers her unconscious child back down to the floor, walking up to the Biznopoly section.

She nervously approaches, and gingerly lifts a copy from its perch, a heavenly chorus reverberating through the atmosphere.

She kneels, placing the box atop her child’s slowly rising and falling chest, and prays to whoever is listening for a miracle.


The scene shifts to a dark room, lit only by numerous computer monitors.

A prompt pops up, the only person in the room quickly clicking the ‘confirm’ option.


After several agonizing seconds of nothing. A bright light comes bursting from the Biznopoly box, steadily growing and spreading outward.

Eventually the boy underneath in completely enveloped in the bright white light.

The light grows exponentially, the camera becoming filled with its glow.

The camera slowly fades back in from white, where the mother is standing, hands crossed over her mouth in shock.

The boy is standing, dressed in full tuxedo, the Biznopoly box nowhere to be seen.

Without explanation, the aisle is clean. The board games sparkle. The lights above are shining brightly onto the ground below.

The boy adjusts his tie.

His mother walks up to him carefully, patting his face apprehensively.

She wraps him in a hug as he eagerly returns it.

So caught up in her emotion, the mother doesn’t notice the boy pull a phone from her pocket and begin browsing the stock market, buying various stocks.


The camera fades to a time card. ‘Ten Minutes and Many Tears Later’


The woman releases her offspring, and finally notices the phone in his hand.

She takes it from him, and recoils, a hand covering her mouth once more.

The camera zooms in on the woman, her hand holding her phone for the camera to see.

On the screen is the woman’s recently updated portfolio, showing all her stocks. The number showing the total value keeps increasing, rising beyond quickly.

The video is replaced with a giant shot of the Biznopoly cover.


(Biznopoly Graphic)

Voiceover: Biznopoly! It’ll make you regret having kids a little less! Now available on Steam as well as at Toys R Us, Blockbuster, and gas stations in rural Appalachia. Get your copy today for three low, low payments of $19.99! Does not include tax, shipping and handling, or processing fees.

The camera fades to black, before once again showing the Biznopoly cover.

(Biznopoly Graphic)

Voiceover: Coming soon - Biznopoly Deluxe for the SNESE, Super Nintendo Entertainment System Extreme, and PC!

The camera fades to black.
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Risky Biznu
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